Understanding your child's behaviour through their nervous system.
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Your child seems settled and able to engage with the world in their own way. They might play, explore, chat, or simply be content in their own company. Their body tends to look at ease. For many children, especially neurodivergent ones, this state doesn't always look "sociable" in a typical sense, and that's fine.
Their nervous system feels safe. This is the state where connection, learning, and curiosity become possible. It looks different in every child.
Your child seems irritable, tearful, restless, or quick to snap. They might argue over small things, struggle to settle, or seem wound up. Their body often looks tense. Some children go loud and fizzy; others go quiet and prickly. Both can be this state.
The nervous system has sensed a threat and activated a mobilising response. This isn't wilful bad behaviour; it's their body trying to protect them. Sensory overload, transitions, and uncertainty are common triggers, especially for neurodivergent children.
Your child seems flat, very far away, or as though they've gone inside themselves. They may not speak, may seem absent, or may look fine outwardly while feeling nothing inside. Some children in this state can look deceptively calm, which is why it's worth noticing the change from their own baseline.
When threat feels too overwhelming to fight or flee, the nervous system shuts down as a deep protective response. This isn't defiance or indifference. They need patient, low-demand presence, not pressure to explain, make contact, or come back.